Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I'm daydreaming today. I'm dreaming of going home to a space WE decorated. The place that we thoughtfully and carefully placed each picture and bookshelf and candle. Dreaming of a place where I have enough SPACE to actually live and breathe and dream. A space where I have the room and freedom to cook and clean and craft and do my work COMFORTABLY. A place where clutter doesn't stress me out, and I have the space and storage to avoid some of that clutter. I dream of a place, a home, that I can be proud to care for. A place where he can come home to me every afternoon. A place that he is comfortable in, feels safe in, an can truly relax in. A place that, when he gets home, I've already done the chores and cooked the dinner so that we can simply relax together and enjoy each other in OUR space. OUR home. My heart yearns for this so badly, and my Abba Father satisfies those desires with good things. [Psalm 103:5].

66 days until my dream comes true, and yes, within this dream there will be stress and clutter and frozen quickie dinners and disagreements and hurt feelings and busy-ness and "too tired to enjoy anything" and plain ole bad days, but it's still my dream.

I know that to many women, a lot of what I said in this post is repulsive. To them, the negative connotations of taking care of a home seem stifling. They turn up their noses to me saying "I've already done the chores and cooked the dinner". But for me, I see the biblical-ness of a woman caring for her home. I see that it is nearly impossible to work full-time and adequately run a household. I see that my job is to serve God by serving my husband, and I relish the idea of making a home that he feels safe in. I fully understand that without two incomes there will be necessary sacrifices. I'd much rather sacrifice eating out or taking trips or having a large house and new car than to come home each day to a cluttered house and not enough time to do what needs to be done and be too tired to enjoy the few hours I have with the man God gave me. My dream is to be a housewife, and eventually mother, and I am proud of that.