Friday, April 29, 2011

Reading Plan B: What do you do when God doesn't show up the way you thought He would?

So far, it's great. It's hard. It hurts. But it's good.
I bought it this summer after Jared and I had our first break.
And I wish I would have let that run it's course.
It'd hurt a lot less now, and I'd be a in a lot better place.

Reading Ecclesiastes.

Praying. It gets easier everyday.
And the pain gets less and less.
My desires and hopes are more difficult to kill.
I'm not sure I'll ever stop hoping Jared is in my future.
But I'm not sure that's a bad thing.
As long as I'm willing to accept it if he's not.

So let it be.

Matthew 26:42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.”

I only half mean it, but it's a start.
I haven't cried today, and the pain is dull at least.
It's a start.

So let it be.

Monday, April 25, 2011


Job with babies.
Annoying friends who love the okay into me.
Conway for the summer.
Slight hope.
Less desire to die.
Afraid to hope, but maybe this will last.
Hey God, you made your point...can you make it hurt as little as possible?