Thursday, February 3, 2011

Today has been an exceptionally good day,
in comparison with the past few.
Not a single tear.
Thank You, God, for that.
And really, thank You for a lot of things.
Honestly...thank You for everything.
Even the painful stuff.

Thank you for:
1. Using me as a witness to my mom over the past 6 months,
despite my completely unGodly behavior.

2. Surrounding me with such amazing friends,
even when I wish they'd go away.

3. For blessing me with the means and ability to school,
even though I hate it so so much.

4. Laura Hackett.
Who sings of my heart condition in ways I could never express.

5. And Hannah for introducing me to Laura Hackett.

6. Giving me peace today.

7. Healing me enough that I can actually speak to You,
and thank You for everything.

8. Motivation to do my schoolwork, even though my heart aches.

9. For easing that ache today.

10. Jared. Everything about him.
He's the biggest blessing I've ever been bestowed with.
And he's strong. Because of You.

11. Thank You for this storm,
even though every ounce of me wishes it were over. now.

12. For not giving up on me,
even though I give up on myself.

13. For Oakwood,
and tutoring,
and my babies.
Even when I want to slap them.

14. For the healing that I feel right this minute,
and the hope that comes along with that.

Thank You so so much for being faithful,
even when I scream at You that You're not.

Thank You for loving me, and holding me,
even when I'm accusing you of horrible negligence.

Thank You for chasing after me,
even though I'm kicking and screaming and running,
and all the while accusing You of abandoning me.

Just thank You, Abba.


hannah said...

i love you and how transparent and honest this is. i haven't been there but oh honey, i identify the with that paradox of what i deserve and what i receive. it's a chasm if i've ever seen one.